When you’re a cigar smoker, word gets around. Sometimes it’s subtle- a cutter left on your desk or a catalog on your filing cabinet. Sometimes it’s more overt, like 5 framed photographs/pieces of art hanging on your wall (guilty). But whatever it is that advertises your avocation, people will eventually talk to you.
You probably have a boss, or client, or co-worker who has remarked on your passion before. So you do what comes naturally and what we’ve covered ad-nauseum in this blog- you invite them along. But something curious happens… Something we’re not used to. They say no.
People don’t smoke cigars for as many reasons as they do, but the excuses that they provide are almost always one of four main points. Let’s examine them, shall we?
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I don’t smoke. The most prevalent excuse in the book, which is also the most true, which is also the lease relevant. When someone says they don’t smoke, it’s a defensive move as well as a counter-strike. It’s a statement of their pure, clean lifestyle and healthy habits, and simultaneously a condemnation of yours. I typically say that there’s a first time for everything, or I ask them why not. The reason usually is that they haven’t had an opportunity. What better time to try something new than under the supervision of a professional?!
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I used to smoke cigarettes. This person is subtly offering you a mea culpa. The reason they won’t join you is because they fear themselves, and are worried that their thin veneer of civility and normalcy will wash away after only one puff, like Dr. Jekyll drinking the elixir. They fear themselves as smokers, and do everything they can to avoid those things that may make them even think of reverting back to their old ways. This person I usually leave alone- life is hard enough when you can’t trust yourself. Or, as a good friend of mine once said, “Whenever you find yourself lacking in self-control, you should make up a silly rule so you don’t ever have to exercise any will-power.” Ouch
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I don’t want my clothes to smell. Well guess what Snuggles, that’s what washing machines are for. I also suggest you stop walking, running, climbing stairs, speaking in public, walking your dog, playing with your kids, dancing, eating Indian food, and living in Southern California. All those things make your clothes smell just as bad.
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I don’t have time. Another way to say that you’re not important enough for them to earn a place in their social calendar. Move on.
The last point that has become prevalent in the last year or two is that they can’t afford it. As Blanche DuBois said, “You can always depend on the kindness of strangers.” I believe that if you invite someone with whom you don’t have history with out for a cigar, you should be prepared to absorb the financial consequences. That doesn’t mean you have to buy them a VSG or a Graycliff- an Oliva, CAO or Rocky Patel will serve just fine.
So what’s a social smoker to do? Retreat to our lounges and porches to smoke in solitude? Stop offering? Quit smoking cigars? Madness. I say to you that we should redouble our proselytizing efforts! Small businesses and social graces are withering on the vine, and what better way to revive the two simultaneously than to patronize your local lounge to have a smoke and make some new friends! And if you manage to drag your ex-non-smoker friend with you, chances are that they’ll have a great time, and will want to go again. And you’ll have done them a favor.















What happened to this vision of married life? No, not the cooking (my girlfriend can’t, so I have to), the alcoholism, the anti-social behavior or the decrease in the living wage. The pipe part. What- you were expecting another lecture about the decay of modern society?


