We talk a lot about what our cigar says about us, but rarely do we listen to what our cigar is saying TO us.  Is it telling us we need to slow down by burning harsh and uneven?  Are we lounging with a lancero, or striving with a salomon?  Are we at peace, with smoke curling straight up to the sky, or are we waving it around like a magic wand, embiggening ourselves with grandiose gestures?

We discuss how to cut, how to light, how to puff, and even how to enjoy.  But there’s a key part that we rarely discuss, because it’s as natural as breathing.  Exhaling.  We puff in, and then just blow out.

This is where we really differentiate ourselves from the cigarette smoker.  Exhaling for them is just necessary so that they can fill their lungs with oxygen again.  Since we don’t inhale, we aren’t forced biologically to react the same way.  Also because of the social nature of our hobby, we rarely have to re-arrange our faces like so much clay to avoid blowing smoke into someone else’s face.  We can choose to exhale at our own pace and pleasure and this action speaks volumes about how we’re feeling.

I know that when I’m absent minded, I tend to just blow the smoke out of my mouth as if I was inflating a balloon- a large jet of smoke straight out.  But I’ve seen those smokers who can pick apart the taste of a cigar all the way down to “hints of melba toast” who stare at the ash and gently eject a slim stream of smoke slowly and carefully, as if blowing an eyelash off a baby’s cheek.

Then there’s the old timers- those that can’t taste the tobacco unless they exhale through their nose and get the whole essence of the smoke.  Others prefer to simply lounge with the cigar in their mouth and exhale around it, like a rocket on the launch pad.

As for me, I use my exhalations as a gauge of how I’m feeling.  Am I really relaxed?  Or just acting like it?  My tell is smoke rings- if I’m in a lounge, relaxed and at peace, I blow smoke rings.  To me it’s playful and fun- trying to get one last bit of pleasure from the essence of the cigar.

And please, remember to go to www.CRA.org and join the Cigar Rights of America.  They’re currently lobbying to keep the FDA from regulating cigars- they could restrict artwork on boxes, advertising, nicotine content, special and limited editions, not to mention the increased taxes and costs.  So join today- together we’re as strong as ligero.

WiFi, cellular phones, push-button start cars and hip hop music.  Everything straining forward as fast as our
fleshy monkey-brains can push it.

Much of this is a good thing, but some of it really grinds my gears.

We have razors with 37-blades, but my only other option besides scraping all the hair off my face and head is to chemically melt it off, or have it ripped out
with wax.  Not exactly progress if you ask me.

Driving is the same- hundreds of multi-ton missiles fly past us at 88 feet-per-second, and we have nothing to protect us but our own spider-senses and reflexes.  Not exactly a fair fight.

Sometimes you find yourself stuck between times.  Maybe the A/C goes out, but you still have your internet access.
Or your cell phone doesn’t get reception, but the TV at the bar has ESPN.  An odd juxtaposition.

One thing that doesn’t seem to move that much is… you guessed it… cigars. Ancient peoples aged, cured and rolled tobacco to smoke much the same
way we do today.  The difference- besides quality control- is mostly religious.  Many native peoples once viewed tobacco as a gift from the gods- a medium to be used to help their prayers reach heaven.

It was a sacrament- something to be cherished.  A tradition passed down through traditions from generation to generation.

We’ve lost a great deal of that- advances in medicine have taught us that tobacco smoke isn’t exactly as healthy
as tofu, and laws to “protect the innocent” have pushed us from the center of any social occasion to the fringes (well, except at our events!).

As for me, none of this “progress” makes me happy.  But it’s somewhat of a necessary evil if we want bridges that don’t collapse, a system
of rules that ensures our safety, and water to be clean and drinkable.  A small compromise if you weigh the pros and
cons, I suppose.  But it doesn’t make being ostracized right.  I think that if everyone had the opportunity to connect with one of the few lost arts that was
never really lost- that’s still available to people with no formal training or direction- our advanced culture might realize that we’ve advanced past the point of
usefulness in some areas.

** A PERSONAL NOTE FROM THE EDITOR**

It has come to my attention that there are some very petty,
negative people in the world.

Unfortunately, a few of those are in the cigar business.

This message is for that person in particular.  No matter who you call, what you write or what
you say… you cannot stop us from succeeding in everything we do.

Why? Because everything we do is to promote brick & mortar cigar lounges, help to build the cigar
industry, assist cigar shops by drivig customers to their business (check out The Cigar Guys Lounge Reviews at www.thecigarguys.net) and have fun doing it.
This may be self-serving, but hey… it ain’t  and never will be about you.

Happy Puffing!

Lars Tetens is the most different of them all.

We first learned of Lars Tetens and his cigars in 2007 at The Cigar Lounge in Granada Hills where the owner Ash told us we had to smoke
these cigars.

Smelling them through their individually zip-locked bags, we wanted to decline due to the intense smell
that seemed as if no plastic could hold it.  He insisted, and we lit up.

What we discovered that day would change our cigar paradigm.  A clean, delicious taste; a powerful aroma; and a crisp finish with no residual taste on the palatte.

We were sold 100%.  Years later, we revisited Ash’s lounge and were greeted with bad news- he had no more Lars Cigars.  A subsequent conversation with Lars revealed he had temporarily shut down his distribution network in order to focus on his East Coast business.  Oh well- easy come, easy go.

Lars Tetens has been a mysterious figure in the cigar business- wrapped in half-truths and conjecture, no one seems to know anything
definitive.  What long-time smokers know is that he had been on the scene for as long as they could remember (since
1979), that his cigars were hard to find, expensive and unique, and that no one
ever seemed to really know what was going on with his companies.  A modern-day Leonardo DaVinci, Lars
manufactures cigars, olive oil, chocolates, steak sauces, spices, sausage,
cheese, skate boards, paintings, leather goods, furniture and perfume.  What sort of man spreads himself so
thinly?  Takes on such different ventures?  We were, to put it mildly, intrigued.

So, when we heard that Lars was going to make an appearance
at The Cigar Lounge in the spring of 2011, we knew we had to meet the man behind the legends.  We were greeted by
Lars’ right-hand-woman Musashi, who introduced us to more blends than we had ever seen from a single manufacturer.

Ash had 30 different blends, and Musashi told us that there were another 30 to 40 varieties that he didn’t stock!
We settled in with strong, flavorful, unique cigars and waited for Lars to arrive.  And arrive he did.

Cutting a swath through the lounge, Lars seemed to glow- 5’9 with a pot-belly, red Mohawk and pink beard, there was no losing the man in a
crowd.  And since he seemed to draw people into his wake, it was equally difficult to get close.  In the humidor, we chatted and traded
stories, and became friends.  That’s when he invited us to visit him in Pennsylvania to learn his business and to get to
know the man behind the legend.

On a Sunday in July we landed in Pittsburgh and found Lars waiting to pick us up.  After a bear hug,
we loaded up the car and set off for Allentown.  I’ve been in a lot of smokers’ cars, including my own, but never smelled
one like this.  The smell was like the combination of exotic sweetness with fine perfume.  An unusual odor, but a very pleasant one.

We pulled into Allentown, and went to a new boutique that was going to feature Lars’ products exclusively.  Shamrock Custom Luxury is minimalist, but
full of high-end products that Lars produces in Upstate New York, such as sausage in olive oil, leather purses, paintings, furniture, and of course, cigars.  Lars cracked open his travel humidor and told us to pick something- preferable something expensive.  There was no hesitation- we knew exactly what to go for.

The SCP (Stone Cold Pimpin’) – the pinnacle of the line- is legendary.  People who know the products talk about it and ask others if they’ve ever smoked it.
What’s it like?  Is it really worth it?  How can it be that much?  We’ll tell you.  The reason there’s so much buzz is that the SCP carries a retail price point of over $180 per cigar.  Per cigar.
Why so much?  That’s how much it costs him.  The core of Lars’ cigar philosophy is aging.  Every cigar manufacturer uses aged tobacco, but what happens after the cigar is rolled is
where Lars takes a different path.

After the cigar is a cigar, Lars sets it aside in a special aging room, where the temperature is lowered to 40 degrees, and the humidity to
5%.  These extremely cold and dry conditions cause the cigars to lose all their moisture, and the only thing left
in the leaves are the natural oils.  Tobaccos from the United States (Kentucky, Georgia, Virginia, and Pennsylvania) as well as Puerto Rican, Cameroon, Dominican, Honduran,
Pilipino and  Mexican tobaccos all have unique charateristics, and in their complex blends and high-stress conditions,
the oils mix and blend over a period of 2 to 25 years.  The SCP sits in these rooms for over two decades, and the result is extraordinary.

A dark cigar, SCP burns slowly and evenly, leaving a multi-shaded ash with vein tracks clearly visible.  The flavor is rich, nuanced, complex, and
absolutely delicious.  If you can afford it, you should smoke it.

Next stop was lunch. At the Chinese restaurant next door we decided to let Lars order, where
we learned something that would be important for the rest of our trip.  For the three of us, we ordered 3 appetizers
and 6 entrees.  And rice.  You’ll never be hungry hanging out with Lars.

Our second cigar was the Annuit Coeptus- an $85 cigar.  Using the same aging process and time, the
Annuit Coeptus was darker and stronger than the SCP.  The ash was full of beautiful little balls-
something we’d never seen.  Rich and flavorful, we were confident that there was a market for these sticks.

A little later on Musashi arrived with Travis, the distributor who covers the North-East.
After a while we went to visit one of Travis’ clients- a cigar lounge that occupied, what used to be a gas station.
It was surreal to park at a pump and walk in to what we expected to be a
mini mart, but had couches and floor-to-ceiling humidors.  We thought it was brilliant- how many gas
stations have you seen that were abandoned?  And what a great location- the corner of a major intersection in their
own building!

Monday broke, cloudy and humid.  We were excited because we were going to spend the day on the golf course at a charity event, handing out cigars.  Our natural habitat!  We met up with Travis and Musashi, as well as a handful of promo models, and prepared to spend the day chatting with golfers and handing out cigars.  It seemed as if
our reputation did not precede us, since the girls didn’t listen to our advice and didn’t know anything about cigars.
Oh well.  The tournament ended with a rainstorm that made it seem like we were standing under a waterfall-
huge, heavy drops of water arrived en masse, and turned everything that wasn’t covered into a sloppy mess.  A brief jog
to the car (10 seconds) and we were wetter than we’ve ever been in a California rainstorm!  I was impressed at the
locals’ ability to take it in stride.

That night, Lars cooked for us.  We heard him say over the phone shortly after picking us up at the airport “Yes… uh huh… good.  And wrap it in bacon.”  Sounds like my kind of meal!  We started with a mozzarella and grape salad, with long slices of perfectly seared beef laid over the lettuce- a light olive oil dressing finished it off.

The second course featured stuffed green peppers, wrapped in bacon.  Stuffed with red beans, red rice
and tuna, the peppers were wrapped in bacon and baked at 180 degrees for 30
hours.  Sunday morning they were put in the oven, and Monday night we ate.
Topped with a country gravy, the peppers were not mushy as one might
expect, but tender.  The bacon was chewy and smoky, and the gravy thick and rich.
Somehow… it worked!

While waiting for the main course, we lit up the Taino cigar.  A blend of West Cameroon binder,
Georgian and Kentucky filler and a rich, pitch black Puerto Rican wrapper, Taino was the first time we were ever able to taste the naturally sweetness of
a true maduro cigar.  Sweet and earthy, the cigar changed flavors 3 times before we finished.

Our main course was chicken and plantains over wild rice.  Under the inedible skin of the chicken, the meat was perfectly done- tender and moist.  Much to our surprise, since the chicken had
cooked as long as the peppers!

That night we stayed up late, drinking scotch and listening to Lars hold court with the stories from his life.  A world traveler, Lars is personal friends
with high-ranking members of the Armed Forces, teaches combat techniques to Navy SEALS, and finds time to age cheese in the caves his family owns in
Upstate New York.  We could have talked all night, but sleep and the promise of the next day beckoned.

On Tuesday we travelled with Musashi to visit a few of their clients, and see the variety of stores that carried their products.  We saw cigars in beer distributorships, steak
sauce in liquor stores, and olive oil in clothing boutiques.  To say there’s a wide array of products and clients would be quite the understatement!

One of the seven cigars we smoked that day is called Bassmaster.  A big 7×54, it smokes smooth and clean, with a mellow character.
Musashi, proud of the blend (it’s hers), told us to watch the pilot of “The Bernie Mac Show”, since Bassmaster was Bernie Mac’s favorite cigar.  Sure enough, if you watch the opening
monologue of the pilot you’ll see him light a cigar and equate cigars with raising children.  And if you watch very
closely, you’ll see the trademark “LARS TETENS” blue-and-red band that used to adorn every cigar.  The Tetens cigars are not without their share of celebrity admirers- a few days earlier they were
backstage with Def Leppard, and Lars has several photos of him with Steven
Tyler.  I guess when you can afford whatever you want, you tend to smoke what you like!

Dinner was another extraordinary affair- for the five of us, we ordered 5 appetizers, six entrees, 5 side dishes and 5 desserts.  As we said, when you’re with Lars, you’re
guaranteed to not be hungry for long.

A tour of Allentown was on the agenda for Wednesday- we had lunch at a brewery with Musashi and learned about how Lars had helped her
family and how they came to work together.  A savvy business mind in her own right, Musashi runs the day-to-day for
all of Lars’ companies- a job that no one who needed sleep could do!  She talked about their leather and food businesses with a passion typically reserved for artists.

That’s when we came to realize that they are a crew of artists.  Their mediums are varied- cigars, perfume, chocolate and others, but the passion, craftsmanship and
ideals they embody are evident in every product they make.

Dinner was at the Suburban Tavern and Restaurant in the cigar lounge upstairs (see our review), followed by a delicious gelato/shave
ice at the Mayor’s ice cream stand.

Our nightcap was at a local bar that Lars and Travis’ bands perform at from time to time.  Lars is an
institution in Pennsylvania- people stop him on the street and constantly seek him out to sit at his feet and learn from the entrepreneur’s entrepreneur.

The bar, for example, boasted a jar of his Italian food spice on every table, and had barbecue sauce on the menu.  Several of his paintings hung from the walls,
and his name was on the marquee.  “Performing Friday and Saturday”- as if he didn’t perform every day.

Our last breakfast with Lars was fried eggs and potatoes, featuring Lars’ barbecue spice, with a side of sesame-crusted bacon.  We would highly recommend adding sesame seeds
to your bacon, fyi.  A mild cigar- the Cubagua- was the last one we smoked while digesting the trip and our breakfast.

The lessons we learned over the week were, for the most part, simple ones.  As far as business, we
had learned that just because we don’t know about a brand, it doesn’t mean that it’s not a thriving, vibrant business.
We learned about the passion and dedication that one person can pour into their life’s work, that they can stand tall on their principles, even if
some people don’t understand them.

As for the man behind the myth, we learned that Lars Tetens is more than the sum of his rumors- he’s a singular human being.  One capable of being the center of attention,
while remaining humble and approachable.

A multi-talented, multi-disciplined artist, Lars stands alone.  If you get a chance to try one of his products – whether it’s chocolate with espresso grounds, a habanero barbecue sauce, or one
of his cigars, try and think of it as his gift to you.  And if he were there personally, it would be.

Encompassing nearly 1,500,000 square feet of booth space, 2011’s IPCPR was a step back towards the way things were before our global
economic collapse.  Of the 125 cigar vendors- not counting multi-line aggregators, pipes, accessories, apparel,
cigarettes, humidors, leather goods, etc.- we counted 3 empty spaces.  Pretty good attendance for a show this size.

People always ask us how IPCPR- the industry-only trade show- compares with the Big Smoke, which is more consumer focused.  The main difference is in the pace and the
patience.  Retailers slowly meander from booth to booth, asking questions and spending time learning about lines.  Others frantically race across the floor from
appointment to appointment- their eyes locked on the deal in front of them.  There’s 7 hours a day of time to investigate- after two and a half days we were still stumbling on corners we’d missed and
friends we thought couldn’t make it.

Evenings are very different as well.  The main hot spots- Casa Fuente and Rhumbar- are still packed, but people sit closer together.  Groups are a little more open, and the topic
of conversation is never in doubt. After-parties are a much more intimate affair as well- we were fortunate enough to attend a Blogger Party hosted at a suite at the MGM by Drew Estate
Cigars.  This party was press only- no retailers or other brands were allowed.

We smoked Steve Saka’s Dirty Rat, chatted with Jonathan Drew & Pete Johnson, and got to meet “Cigar-lebrities” (thanks for the term, Cigar Authority!)
from across the country.  Big Smoke parties are about grabbing as much free stuff as you can carry.  IPCPR is about smoking what you take, and making
educated judgments beyond the cost of the cigar in your mouth.

The exhibitors at the show fight to out-do themselves and each other every year.  In previous years
we’ve seen shoe shine booths, caricature artists, and open bars.  This year it seemed that people dispensed
with the luxuries like pens and stickers, but were deadly serious about getting down to business.  Every large booth
(ranging from 2000 sq. ft. up to a pair of 6000 sq. ft. monsters) was set up like its own little world.

High walls kept people either in or out, products were displayed either in walk-through
dioramas or in jewelry-quality display cases, and the use of color patterns and
uniforms made you feel like you were in their factory.  A truly impressive sales experience.

Smaller retailers were the more interesting story- some fought for attention with women in low-cut shirts, others featured bourbon
barrels, live rollers, or men in centurion costumes, and still others seemed as if they’d given up before they started.
Some consisted of nothing but a few leather couches and hanging banners, while others were set up like the set of a vampire movie with red velvet
upholstered, golden gothic furniture.

There were people selling every conceivable type of accessory- from travel suitcases to golf/cigar tools to shirts that featured chest pockets sewn
down the middle to make two separate cigar pockets.

There were some interesting decisions- a meet-and-greet with Dennis Rodman, or a give-away consisting of a five-inch steel spike, but as
always, there was something for everyone’s taste.

Next year the show is in Orlando.  Good news for the Miami cigar industry, bad news for us.  But as always, from 112 and
dry to 85 and humid, we’ll be there to report back to you.

Did you attend the show and see something you liked?  Any brands you think are hot?  Or not?  Any questions for us?

Let us know in the comments section!

We’ve learned the best part of doing private parties- aside from smoking and meeting new people and getting paid- is eating and
drinking.  When we first started our business we were shy wallflowers around the buffet and bar.  Hard to believe, I know.  But now, after helping our guests light up a
few cigars and chatting, one of us hits the refreshments and trucks back a mountain of goodness to share.  Pulled pork sliders, cake lollipops, carnitas tacos, fried chicken, Skittles, fondue,
chocolate-dipped fruit, espresso, chicken soup, hot dogs and mahi mahi- nothing
seems to be unusual at a party.  But, one food stands above all others in terms of expectation and analysis.  Wedding cake.

Cake has a strange place in our culture.  It’s not just something that we expect, but in certain instances we demand it.  You’ve
never heard of someone singing “happy birthday” and blowing out the candles on a pecan pie, have you?  (Note to self-
insist on pecan pie for birthday)  But therein lays the difficulty.  If there’s cake, it’s expected that there will be enough for everyone.  And as we’ve learned from “Man Vs. Food” on
the Food Network, deliciousness is not proportional to size.  If anything, the larger something is, the worse it is.  I’ve eaten wedding cake
that tasted like Styrofoam, or had frosting the consistency of spackle, or had
some vile fruit filling.  It’s rarely something good.  Which made our last wedding something special.

Not all of our events are ritzy and filled with debutantes and businessmen smoking cigars and discussing politics.  We recently provided cigars for a wedding in
San Pedro for a couple that were retail store managers at different big-box stores.  Nice people, pleasant guests, exceptional wedding cake.  It shows that
sometimes you can find unanticipated pleasures in unexpected places.

The Cigar Guys was founded on this maxim- that people should seek out and experience variety.  We held events where strangers could meet each other, and began by writing reviews of different cigar shops, so that people could get out of their routine and have some new experiences.

Traveling to different cigar shops is one of our favorite hobbies- the opportunity to meet new friends, smoke new cigars and see different designs all while being welcomed as fellow Brothers of the Leaf.

Cigars are, as we say, the great equalizer.  I read once that a cigar shop is the only place on earth where you can meet the guy that robbed you, the cop who arrested him, the insurance guy who paid your claim, the DA who prosecuted him and the judge who tried the case.  A lounge is one of the last truly communal places in the world, where people from different walks of life can come together over a shared interest.

“But,” you may say, “I have a favorite shop where I like to hang out.”  That’s fine- we have favorite shops, too.  But sometimes I feel a particular way.  I want to smoke outside, or I want to play darts, or watch the game or the fight, or I want to have a drink.  Every particular urge is catered to by a specific shop.  Once you’ve built up an internal registry of what the different lounges around you offer, you only need to consult your feelings to see where you should go.  And experience some variety in your life- the same cigar will taste different, I guarantee.

For our take on some cigar lounges, visit www.thecigarguys.net and click on the “Lounge Reviews” tab.  Have a favorite shop that we missed?  Let us know at info@thecigarguys.net.

Needless to say, I enjoyed myself, but felt plagued with doubt.  My D.A.R.E training had taught me
that tobacco was bad, and I didn’t want to disappoint my parents.  But I loved the damn things.  So I made a rule- I would only smoke on
vacation.  That rule lasted two years until a friend called me out on a vacation, telling me that “Whenever you don’t
think you’re strong enough to not do something, you should always make up a
bulls**t excuse so you don’t have to think for yourself”.  I took the cigars he offered.

I packed the cigars in my suitcase, and when I got home I found that a few of them had either bent or snapped in half.  To this day travelling with cigars has
occupied a relatively large portion of my cigar-smoking life.  I have five different travel cases- not counting my two humidors- to pack cigars in, depending on the type of event,
amount of walking, number of cigars, size of cigars and general event-related circumstances.

Travelling can take many forms- from weekend trips to Las Vegas to simply bouncing from coffee shop to coffee shop.  I probably put more thought into this than
most, but that’s not terribly surprising- I like to think of the gears in my head as self-lubricating… if they stop spinning, they’ll seize up.

I have two main methods for taking cigars with me- I either use a super-fortified heavy-duty 15-cigar locking plastic case, or a shirt
pocket.  If the cigar is in cellophane, a shirt pocket is really about all you need to take one or two cigars with
you.  It’s when you don’t have the pocket that you’re forced to go to the single-stick crushproof tubes- which I
personally hate.  Especially if I’m out-and-about and have to carry this hollow tube around with me until I can
drop it off somewhere.  I would strongly recommend taking shirts with chest pockets (guayabera FTW!) on any trip where
time away from the car is going to be spent walking around instead of sitting.

Of course, if you hang out in cigar shops you’ll never be cigar-less.  In addition to that
camaraderie and supporting small businesses all over the country, you don’t have to lug your cigars with you!  Was
that a long way to go to encourage you to patronize your local tobacconist?

Yes.  But that’s the best I can do… unless you write to us at info@thecigarguys.net
with either suggestions for future blogs or your own original submissions!  Give it the old college try and tell your
friends.  Maybe bet a cigar that you’ll get your piece published and your friend won’t!
Or not- I’ll think of something to ramble on about.

BTW, remember to join the Cigar Rights of America – fighting to keep cigar smoking legal and available! www.cigarrights.org

Fast forward a year and a half and we’ve been derelict in our return.  After all, Granada Hills is so far from Long Beach (more on this later).  Fortunately we were drawn recently for a boutique cigar manufacturer’s event, and managed to surprise ourselves.

Gone are the small humidor and intimate seating, replaced by a large, spacious humidor (still very well stocked and priced) and super-sized lounge.  Following the lead of other shops, the owner Ashley decided to expand into the space next door and allocate a full 60% of his space to lounge seating.  Several TV’s and seating areas are laid out to make the large space conducive to conversations and meetings, as well as a tastefully decorated semi-private meeting room in the back.  It’s clear that Ashley set out with the intention to make his locally well-known shop into a regionally well-known shop.  Count me as an impressed believer.

The Cigar Lounge has always been known for its’ pricing, selection and strong contingent of regulars, but if the event the other night was any indication, Ash knows how to throw a party.  There were snacks on every flat surface, as well as hot food in the back.  The traditional “buy three get one” deals on the featured line of cigars, in addition to the Philly Cheesesteak Truck and a Sushi Truck parked outside the shop dishing up extraordinarily good food- especially considering they arrived on wheels!

The real lesson I took away was on the drive home.  A 40-minute blast on the 405 is nothing for us Angelinos, and The Cigar Lounge is certainly worth the short trip.  I can’t say that I’ll be back on a Tuesday or Wednesday, but I can certainly see myself making the pilgrimage to the valley a weekend a month.

The Cigar Lounge is located at 17545 Chatsworth Street, Granada Hills, CA 91344

The longer a thing exists, the more it will change.  Children become old people, moonshine becomes bourbon, rocks are ground into sand, and tobacco ferments until it’s ready to be rolled into a cigar.  No great surprises so far, true.  But one of these things is not like the other.

As human beings grow and age, we also mature.  Not only do we change physically, but the lens through which we view our environment- our consciousness- evolves into a unique set of beliefs and ideas.  It’s not something that you can control for yourself, but you can influence it in other people.

Much like the oak barrel acts upon the cask of raw whisky, we are able to- very gradually- shape the future consciousness that will inhabit an individual.  And on a side note, this is probably why parenting scares me as much as it does.

With cigars, we know that the only acceptable way to age the tobacco is the gentle hands of time.  Other methods are available- maduro leaves used to be boiled to achieve their characteristic dark color- but are unacceptable to our mature palates.  These boiled wrappers were prone to staining the fingers and lips of the smoker who tried to enjoy a simple cigar.  Unacceptable, as I’m sure you agree.

But once a cigar is completed and aged to factory standards, a wonderful thing happens.  You get your turn to act upon the stick in the way that you feel best supports the puro’s desire to please you.  The humidor has been, in my opinion, perverted from its’ divine purpose.  Most of us, me included, use humidors as a safe, temperature and humidity controlled environment to store our cigars until we’re ready to smoke them.  We buy a box of something we like at the shop, then set it in the humidor as we smoke our way through our purchase.

But, there is another way.

With a little bit of creativity, you too can have a hand in the manufacturing process.  Buy several of the same cigar, and set them in your humidor.  Make sure you record the date you first laid them down somehow- either on the band with a pen, or a piece of paper wrapped around the cigars like a belt.

Then wait.

Then, smoke them in 3-month increments.  I would recommend at least a half-dozen cigars by a manufacturer that you’ll be able to find in the future.  In between each quarter, smoke one or two at a shop, so that you can keep the flavor on your palate.  Then each quarter, smoke one of your aged cigars.  Aside from the pride you’ll feel in yourself, note how the flavors have changed.  And if you’re ambitious, compare it against the one you smoked 3-months earlier.  I think you’ll see that while the gentle hands of time have worked their magic on your humble collection, they’ll have done a number on your own life.

I was reminded of our extremism the other day when chatting with a client at a cigar event.  He had watched me recommend a cigar to a stranger and pull my own boutique stick from my pocket.  Using my own cutter and lighter with an adroit precision only added to his esteem of my smoking skills.  Imagine his shock when he learned that I only smoke about 3 days a week!  In his mind I kept an ashtray on my nightstand and took the cigar out of my mouth to brush my teeth.  In fact, I exercise a great degree of moderation in my smoking.

As I sit writing this at home tonight I’m sipping on a glass of DiSaronno.  A sweet Italian hazelnut liquer, it’s out of fashion these days amongst people younger than 68 years old.  You can see it in its’ distinctive square-topped cap sitting alongside its sister Frangelico in most higher-end bars.  Ask for it on the rocks and the bartender raises an eyebrow, and then blows the dust off the bottle.

But that’s not the point.  A couple of components in the self-assessment test for determining if you’re an alcoholic is if you drink 4 times a week by yourself.  There have been times in my life when I’ve met or exceeded this line in the sand, but it highlights our struggles with definitions.  I’ll have one drink, and then hit the sack.  I have self-control and drink in moderation.

Cigars, in moderation, are shown to be a health benefit.  They relieve stress, and give the immune system something to do.  While you might not agree with this statement, it’s certainly difficult to refute.  Moderation is the key here, and something we all need to work on.

Let this be a guide for you this week.  Attempt to live a moderate life- not everything has to be right or wrong, good or bad, valuable or worthless.  Look for the middle, and try to aim for it.  You’ll find yourself in a calmer, more centered place.  Pun intended.

Then the headache goes away, and you find yourself unable to imagine what was wrong with you.  And I thought about medical technology and how much we take it for granted.  I knew there were no demons in my skull that needed to be trepanned out.  I wasn’t going to die, or have this feeling forever.  The medicine would make it go away.

Cigars, to me, are miraculous in their resistance of progress.  That’s what I love about promotional videos that cigar manufacturers put out- they start at the seed, which is hand-sown and nurtured to health.  Then it’s put in the ground and it just… grows.  You don’t do anything.  It does it itself.

Once picked and placed in the aging barn, we like to think that computers take over controlling the humidity and aging process.  But they’re not controlling it.  People do the labor of hanging the leaves and the computers do regulate the humidity of the barn, but they don’t control the fermentation.  The plants ferment themselves.

Once finished fermenting, the plants are ready to be rolled.  Flow-meters and pressure sensors ensure a consistent product, but the tobacco is still processed using the same basic techniques that they used in the 1400’s.  Bunching the filler, binding and adding the wrapper are still the same.  We use butane instead of sulphur matches to light the end.  Progress infringes on the edges, but the core remains the same.

I like this about cigars.  I view them as rustic rather than sophisticated- ancient as opposed to glamorous.  And that’s the nice thing- Tony calls cigars “The Great Equalizer” which is appropriate across not just social strata, but generations.  Think about lighting up with your great-grandparents this week, and what they’d have to say about the way things used to be.

Along with the dozens of apps I’ve downloaded, which are a gigantic waste of time, I’ve fallen in love with podcasts.  In case you’re as behind the times as I was, a podcast is a recorded radio show that you can download and listen to at your convenience.  I listen to a few different comedians, such as Marc Maron, Adam Carolla and Joe Rogan, and love being able to constantly have new stuff to listen to without the burden of feeling like I’m missing something.  I just hit pause and pick up when I can.

The latest one I subscribe to is “This Week with Larry Miller”.  I listen for a couple of reasons- it’s short, amusing, and Larry is a cigar smoker.  Tony and I were hanging out at Argenti Cigars at Hollywood and Highland and Tony- the shy guy that he is- strikes up a conversation with this very familiar looking guy.  Larry Miller is one of those guys you’ve seen dozens of times but couldn’t name if you had to.  A really nice, talkative, approachable guy, Larry struck us as one of the few Hollywood types that wasn’t completely full of himself.

Anyway, earlier this week Larry was talking about a dinner he had with some friends at a steakhouse where the noise level was so high that he couldn’t taste his steak.  Upon further reflection at home, relaxing and actually enjoying a drink, he came to realize that he hadn’t enjoyed his evening out.

How many times have you been having a cigar and a cup of coffee only to have something… off.  Maybe you’re thinking about work, or you’re in a hurry to get on with your day.  The coffee tastes sour and the cigar seems… harsh somehow.  You know it’s a good cigar, and you’re confident that you kept it well humidified, but you’re not present.  It’s not enjoyable.

I think that’s why I enjoy Las Vegas so much.  No meetings to make, no e-mails to reply to.  Unplug, decompress and slow down.  As our friend Larry Miller said so elegantly, it’s all about “time well spent.”

A statement so simple, so elegant and yet so apt.  Time well spent.  On further reflection, I find that it seems to permeate every part of my life.  Personally, professionally, and with family.  Volume and intensity are not what count.  Spending time well is what leads me towards the life that I want to have.

As you get closer to the weekend, hold this thought in your head.  How are you spending your time, and are you spending it well?  After all, your time is all you’ve got.

If there’s one thing that never made sense to me in the world of food, cigars, golf and alcohol, it’s monotony.  I know guys who have “Their Club”, where the bartender knows their name, their drink, and the time they’ll order it.  They play the same golf course, smoke the same cigar, and order the same food from the same restaurant.  I just don’t understand it- there’s a whole world of stuff out there waiting to be experienced!  Why limit yourself?

But it gets worse than that!  Not only do some people have rigidly inflexible routines at home, but they extend it to their vacations!  They visit the same place at the same time of year, stay in the same hotel and eat at the same restaurants, ordering their same favorite dish.  They probably have a same bar in this same vacation city, and smoke the same cigar and drink the same wine!

How sick are you of the word “same” by now?  I know I am.  But it’s handy to prove a point.  We know what we like, and that’s good enough for most people.  But I don’t subscribe to this theory, as you know, if you know me.  I’ll smoke any cigar, drink any scotch, eat any food and play any course that’ll have me and my pants.

There’s not a month that goes by that I’m not in a cigar shop talking to a new friend that the conversation doesn’t turn to Cuban cigars, or their favorite stick.  I’m usually smoking something they’ve never heard of- Sancho Panza or Canimao or El Titan De Bronze or Tatuaje or Lars Tetens or Bahia or Don Lino or Oliveros or Kinky Friedman or Hoya de Nicaraga or Arganese or Illusione- when they ask me what my favorite cigar is,  I can honestly say that I don’t have a single favorite.  I have a favorite size- lancero- but by no means is it the only size I smoke.

Try and break your own routine this week.  Get outside of your comfort zone and pick up a cigar from a box you don’t recognize.  Eat at a restaurant you’ve never been to.  Tell the waitress at a restaurant you’re familiar with to bring you her favorite dish.  Worst case scenario?  You don’t like it and get something you do like.  But you may discover something new about yourself that you didn’t know was there.

If you know me, you know I shave my head.  From time to time, I find that the drain in my shower just doesn’t want to deal with any more shaving hairs and
shaving cream, and decides to back up.  After toweling off, I grab the bottle of drain cleaner, dump some of it down the sink, and wait for the little bottle to do it’s magic.

Here I was, in the middle of California, surrounded by products and chemicals from all around the world, using water
that came from who knows where, heated by electricity from some source,removing an evolutionarily protective barrier between myself and the sun, and
not thinking of any of it.  Just of clearing the drain.

We take so much for granted that we often forget to notice the small things around us. When Sir Walter Raleigh first smoked tobacco in Great Britain way back
in the 1500’s, people looked at him as if he was either insane or possessed.  Or probably both, since they didn’t know the difference.

Now we have cigars from all over the world available to us at the mere exchange of some
slips of paper.  Don’t even get me started on how complicated a credit card transaction is.

Someone once said that if you took a person from the 1940’s and showed them the internet that they wouldn’t be
incredulous.  There would be absolutely no frame of reference for them with regards to this type of technology.  Lots of what’s around today was around in
some form back then, but this tech stuff is wizardry.  James May remarked that he doesn’t believe in electricity, since no one can explain it.

And maybe that’s something to ponder the next time you’re about to light up.  Just what are you doing, anyway?  And what
does it mean to you?  What do you get out of it?  And how did you come to be where you are at that instant?  And maybe
you’ll find, as the waitress delivers your scotch and the propane heater kicks on and you clip the end off your cigar, that you’re in the middle of a small miraculous moment.

The other day I was at a local lounge chatting with a new friend, talking about a major cigar manufacturer, when he mentioned that once upon a time he’d smoked one that didn’t taste good.  Upon further interrogation (I happen to like this brand very much), he admitted that the cigar was a little soft, and finally that it was probably over-humidified.  I’ve smoked cigars that were so wet I felt like I should wring them out before smoking them, and was always faced with a taste that bordered on ungodly awful.  I’ll put it this way- after doing Thanksgiving dinner dishes, place your used kitchen sponge under your sink for a week and a half, then clean your feet with it, then your dog’s feet.  Then light it and smoke it.  That’s an over-humidified cigar.

The point I made to him was this- he F’ed it up, not the manufacturer.  We have this expectation that things will always go exactly as we expect them to.  Dinner will turn out perfect, the cigar will burn evenly, our business will grow, our prospects will buy from us, and our personal relationships will be smooth and drama-free.  Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case.  And sometimes we’re too dumb to even realize it- but it’s not our fault.

The bar is set so astoundingly high these days that it’s impossible to clear it cleanly.  For example, two popular songs on the radio right now are entitled “I Wanna Be A Billionaire” and “Fly Like A G6.”  Let’s break these down.

A billionaire.  Nice sounding, I know.  But to be one, you have to earn one.  Tech miracles aside, let’s put this number into perspective.  A good paying job is about $40/hr, right?  That’s about $6,600/month, or $80k/yr.  You’re not buying Ferraris, but you can probably pay your bills in most of this country.  At $40/hour, you would have to work 25,000,000 hours.  That’s 2,853 YEARS, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  It’s an impossibly large amount of money.  Even if you earned a million dollars a year- $83,000/month- it would take 1,000 years to make a billion bucks, assuming you never spent a cent or paid any taxes. You want to be one?  Better be in the right place at the right time.

Flying like a G6 has similar difficulties, but more esoteric ones.  Most of the people who listen to this type of music (hippity hoppity) have no idea what they’re singing about.  Well, the Gulfstream corporation is perfectly happy with the free advertising, I’m sure.  The Gulfstream G650 is the company’s largest, fastest, most expensive private jet.  This vehicle has a maximum speed of Mach 0.925 (about 700 MPH), seats up to 18 people, and will cruise as high as 51,000 feet.  The price?  If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.  But seriously, if you can stay away from the options box (whatever you want, you can pretty much have), the starting sticker is about $58,500,000.  If this was a car payment, a 60-month loan at 4% interest would be a mere $1,077,367 per month.  Makes that new Porsche look affordable, eh?  Fly like a G6?  I’m happy to fly like a Southwest Gotta Get Away special.

We’re set up to expect things to be fantastic, to be effortless, and to be perfect everytime.  We romanticize it, and frequently confuse our anticipated reality with actuality.  We expect every cigar to smoke perfectly, and to never drop ash in our laps.  But they do, eventually.  It’s not what happens to us that matters- it’s how we react.  I usually jump into action, cursing and brushing hot ash off my clothes and onto the carpet, where it’s someone else’s problem.  But that’s just me.  Hopefully you just aim for an ashtray.

Galaxy, Douglas Adams makes a great point- that most people in the world are unhappy based on the movement of little pieces of paper. Which is odd, since the pieces of paper themselves are not particularly unhappy.

Cigars are traditionally associated with disposable income, and for good reason. We all have two lists of favorite cigars- one that we like to smoke, and one that we like to smoke when we’re feeling flush. I like Alec Bradley, Tatuaje, Rocky Patel and Joya de Nicaragua, but I really like the Opus X, Davidoff RR and Padron 1926. The difference between the first list and the second is about two to three times the price. I do smoke almost anything, but I have a mental block around $12. If a stick is $15 to $20 or more, I really need to justify it to myself to spend those extra few dollars.

It’s funny because- fortunately- $5 is not going to break the bank. But it is something I’m conscious of. And it’s silly because there are areas of my life where I don’t notice such trivi

al differences. If gas on the other side of the street is ten cents cheaper, I don’t drive across the street. I pay the extra $1.80 it takes to fill my tank. I buy expensive disposable razors and pricey golf pants. But spending an extra few bucks on a cigar requires mental gymnastics worthy of Oksana Baiul and Kerri Strug.

So to try and make things a little easier, I’ve started looking for areas that I can cut back. I eat at home most meals, and buy peanut butter, crackers, beef jerky and pretzels for lunch at my office. I got Arrowhead water delivery for my office to save a buck a gallon, and instant coffee so I didn’t have to buy another Keurig coffee machine.

The biggest financial difference I’ve made? Laundry. I’ve done my own laundry since I was 12, but got out of the habit of ironing. I told myself that I was saving tons of hassle by paying $20 or $30 per week to have my pants pressed and shirts laundered and ironed. But upon further introspection, I realized that it’s only about an extra half-hour a week on ironing. And I can do it with the tv on! I was watching tv anyway- now I can count it as exercise. How efficient of me.

So as a financial professional in my spare time, what am I doing with this newfound bounty? Exactly what I said I’d do. I’m smoking a Don Pepin My Father Lancero right now- a fine $13 cigar. And I’m enjoying it all the more knowing that it’s not a $15.50 cigar once I add the cost of washing these khakis.

On one hand, both of The Cigar Guys have experienced major upheavals in our own careers, yet we managed to grow The Cigar Guys by over
250% year-over-year.  How odd.  We watched the carpocalypse of 2009 lead to a huge reversal of fortunes: Ford is the darling of the industry, and Toyota
managed to recall every single model that they make.

On the other side of the coin, I’ve watched hard-working entrepreneurs be forced to adjust their course, and seasoned veterans who want
to exit dragged back into the fray to paychecks higher than they’ve ever had.

In the cigar world, the more things change, the more they remain the same.  The Big Smoke staged a valiant recovery from the embarrassment that was 2009, but other private events
around the country struggled to raise half as much for charity as they had last year.  Big-name manufacturers like Macanudo rolled up their sleeves and released excellent cigars such as the
Grand Cru, while niche and boutique brands like Tatuaje and Illusion continued their viral assault on the industry.

So what’s our big take-away?
I think that in today’s economy it’s more about your attitude than ever before.  I haven’t seen anyone who
bemoaned the state of the economy make gains, but those who decide that somewhere, someone is buying something have done ok or even grown.

As always, it’s what you make it.  So sit down, set some real goals, and go get them.

Oh, and by the way, if you remember my resolutions from last
year- I did manage to build a shrine to my own bad ass.  So I got that going for me.

THE TOP 25 COUNTDOWN HAS BEGUN!

Visit CigarAficionado.com today to begin seeing Cigar Aficionado’s Top 25 Cigars of the Year as they count down to number one.  There’s a cigar for every palate as a smoke for every budget!

Monday, January 3 – Cigars number 10 through 6

Tuesday, January 4 – Cigars number 5 through 2

Wednesday, January 5 – Cigar number 1

Thursday, January 6 – Cigars 11 through 25

Friday, January 7 – The Best Bargain Cigars of 2010

Happy New Year from The Cigar Guys!